Thursday, April 23, 2009

You will be okay

Riju had fallen down from roof at the age of four and had suffered serious head injury. After two months of hospitalisation in a comatose state he had recovered but with significant neurological damage. As a sequelae he carries a right sided hemiparesis and subnormal intelligence.His parents have tried to follow whatever advice was given for improving the spastic right upper limb.They have sold whatever property they had ..and wherever they went he was asked to continue physiotherapy with the words.."he will be okay"...Today Riju is fifteen and signs of manhood showing up ..but still behaving like a child not making any progress in school .He being their only child they are worried too about his future..They want his right hand to straighten up and think that will end their worries a bit.It has been years since the accident and what he has now is a spastic limb with contractures.His parents had to be convinced that the chances of improving this limb is meager; and what he has to do is to train his son to do some job and concentrate on that.He has to learn to do something to earn a living. The spastic limb and a subnormal intelligence will be there always and he has to live with it. In the pursuit of straightening the limb they should not waste more time and resources.Being in this rural area its hard to find a nearby rehabilitation center; so it's upto his father to take the responsibility of training. His father said Riju had shown interest in holding a brush and tried painting already and felt he can teach him to do that. He thanked saying he felt lighter as that was all he wanted to know ; he did not want to feel guilty for not doing enough for his son,and left with hope in his eyes ,and determination in his heart with the feeling that now his son will be okay.

Sunday, April 19, 2009

The principal and the rickshawala

After my MBBS i was back to Tambaram , to start my PG entrance preparations . I had some applications to be submitted after attestation by a gazetted officer.I thought it will be a good idea to be back to my school, and meet the Principal. I was happy to go back and felt it was worth thanking the institution from where I had started ...With a file in my hand I entered the Principal's room after getting her permission and was just shocked at the way she welcomed me! She just saw files in my hand, asked whether i wanted attestation and straight shouted at me for wasting her precious time !!She did not even let me speak . The lady holding pillars of "education" demonstrated qualities which I guess any educated person should be ashamed of.

The PGI entrance was over. I had done very well and was confident in getting the seat of my choice after the year long hard preparation. But due to some misfortune , my friend , with whom i did the final part of the preparation, decided to return to Delhi without waiting for the results .The idea was to return to Chandigarh if successful.A third party was made to call us and inform about the result which was supposed to be published the same evening.Next day at 10 am the person called and informed that I had a good rank and the counseling will be at 1 PM. I started from Delhi all alone by bus and after a series of traffic problems managed to reach Chandigarh at 5 PM. The counseling was over...the seats filled up and I had lost it !..I met the Director but he asked me to come back for DM..!I felt lost.Had really worked hard for a year to get the seat! It was almost 7 PM and quite dark. There was no way I could return to Delhi. I had to spend the night in Chandigarh, all alone. I asked a rickshawala to take me to some hotel..After a bit of searching he took me to one.The place was empty , with only the manager and a waiter.They gave me a room. I asked the rickshawala to come at 7 AM and drop me in the bus stand the next day .I needed to wash off my despair ,and after a bath ordered dinner. I was wondering , here I am in a place where no one knows my whereabouts. If someone kills me , no one will come to know. I felt totally cut off from the world.The rickshawala was my only link . I was tired and slept off..It was a hard day...

There was a knock ..I saw the time .It was 5.45 ..The rickshawala was calling me. I opened the door..He appeared relieved. He said he was very worried about me , and had not slept the whole night.He just could not wait any longer to see that I was okay..

..And I believed in angels.Here he was an illiterate fellow, a total stranger who still cared.I did not mind losing the seat..I had gained something more valuable,a memorable experience .

I wonder,..what is the purpose of education ? To let you develop so much self importance that you do not treat another person as human ! Or the lack of such "education" preserves the basic qualities which make you human.

When I lost my child

I waited for my yet unborn child,
Dreaming with determined patience,
Perhaps he will be a supernova,
Radiating his brilliance:

I failed the test of time,
Now only breathe in desperation,
Not supernova but a black hole,
On his path to own destruction.

Left with no words to say,
I stand in mute testimony,
Even my eyes have run dry,
My heart full of agony.

Why did I fail?
Why did time defy?
With a thorn in my heart.
I understand why !

Whenever he looked up at me,
With curiosity filed in his eyes,
Didn't I stop him abruptly ,
Trying to show my wise?

Did I let him feel the softness of life,
But my heart full greed,
And my eyes blind by hatred,
I turned away from his innocent need,

Could I provide him a home,
Where he could grow without fear ?
But where only uncertainties prevail,
Destruction always seeming near.

Did I give him freedom,
To dream and to choose ?
I only made him a victim ,
Of my own fancies and woos.

I never tried to understand him,
Listen to what he has to say,
But forced him always,
To follow my reckless way.

I made him a prisoner,
With no say but expectation,
Born were the seeds of self-contempt,
Hatred and Frustration,

I stole his years from him,
In a frantic dream of fame,
I turned him into a criminal,
It's only me to blame !!

Thursday, April 2, 2009

Wednesday, April 1, 2009

Defeating AIDS

Ajmira's husband died of AIDS four and a half years ago leaving a 6 month old daughter and the burden of HIV with her. She was even unaware of his diagnosis.His parents and brothers kept it hidden from her.It was her sister and brother-in law, who suspected it and got her tested for HIV, which turned out to be positive.She now stays with them, leaving her HIV negative baby with her in laws. They had taken all pains to take her to the School of tropical medicine in Kolkata for further evaluation and treatment. She was started on anti retroviral treatment , but the supply of medicines hasn't been regular.In spite of the trouble of taking frequent leaves and attending the over crowded OPD most of the times without any benefit, facing rude hospital staff , they have not abandoned her or got dejected either.They are ready for the course of actions required by the disease.AIDS might be consuming her in some way , but has certainly got defeated by love. .