When I lost my child

I waited for my yet unborn child,
Dreaming with determined patience,
Perhaps he will be a supernova,
Radiating his brilliance:

I failed the test of time,
Now only breathe in desperation,
Not supernova but a black hole,
On his path to own destruction.

Left with no words to say,
I stand in mute testimony,
Even my eyes have run dry,
My heart full of agony.

Why did I fail?
Why did time defy?
With a thorn in my heart.
I understand why !

Whenever he looked up at me,
With curiosity filed in his eyes,
Didn't I stop him abruptly ,
Trying to show my wise?

Did I let him feel the softness of life,
But my heart full greed,
And my eyes blind by hatred,
I turned away from his innocent need,

Could I provide him a home,
Where he could grow without fear ?
But where only uncertainties prevail,
Destruction always seeming near.

Did I give him freedom,
To dream and to choose ?
I only made him a victim ,
Of my own fancies and woos.

I never tried to understand him,
Listen to what he has to say,
But forced him always,
To follow my reckless way.

I made him a prisoner,
With no say but expectation,
Born were the seeds of self-contempt,
Hatred and Frustration,

I stole his years from him,
In a frantic dream of fame,
I turned him into a criminal,
It's only me to blame !!